Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Talk about dating, breaking up, getting married, etc. This is where you can talk about units 2 & 4 in Authentic English Readings for Advanced Students.
Post Reply
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:08 am

Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by FRONTDOORseolsungyeob »

I know that this may be a controversial topic to many so please bear with me as I am just expressing what I think is right. Chapter 4 of Authentic English Readings talks about the issue of whether or not a woman should offer to pay when going on dates. And an example story from a New York Giants Football forum is used. The author of the post tells his story about a girl he is seeing. He takes her to expensive restaurants and has so far paid for all the dates. He states that not once has the girl offered to pay and that is the problem that he is having; he feels like he is being used. My opinion to all of this is in a sense double sided. On one hand, everyone knows that it is tradition/part of the culture that the guy pays for the dates. While I wholeheartedly agree with this, women should also offer(or pay some part) to pay for dates sometimes as well. Women in our current generation are fighting for equal rights regarding pay, employment and discrimination. And I believe they deserve all of the rights/privileges that men get. In all aspects of our culture, men and women should be equal. They should contribute to the family equally and not just have the women stay home taking care of the household. Both sexes should bear the same amount of pressure when it comes to difficulties in life. Men should also do the dishes and cook as well. So why not apply this equality towards dating as well? I believe it to be unfair for only the guy to bear the pressure financially, women should put in some amount as well. Please do not criticize me because I am not stating that women should pay for a whole date, but just a percentage. I say this because tradition is to have the men pay for a whole date, but with times changing regarding women's rights and equality, so should having men pay for an entire date.

Lastly, some of the responses to the question in Chapter 4 are very sexist and discriminating towards women. Do not read answers such as 7, 9, 11 and think that I am uniform in their thoughts regarding this topic.
Choi hana-eleven o'clock
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:47 pm

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by Choi hana-eleven o'clock »

Oh, after I have read yours, I became think that traditional(men are paying all of the costs for date) is came from 'inequality'.
And our society is changed, so many women are treated equally more and more.
So now, women have to pay dating costs if she have right notion about costs.
Obviously, I agree to yours and I think your background for opinion is so reasonable.
In addition, I think that if women loves her boyfriend from the bottom of the heart, she will pay for date moderately because she will consult his pocket book.:)
Choi hana-eleven o'clock
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 6:47 pm

Should women pay for date?

Post by Choi hana-eleven o'clock »

I know it is so crucial and sensitive controversial topic because many men think women should do that, but yet many women think they don't have to pay and paying for date is just men's share of work.
I don't know exactly where does the thinking that 'men should pay for date all the time' come from. But I think that came from ancient lifestyle - man's share was making money for their family and woman's part was caring children and housekeeping. So woman didn't earn money and paying for dating costs became man's share.
But ancient is just ancient. Our society is changing fast so women earn money, too. And even seeing some couples, Women earn much more money than her boyfriends.
In conclusion, because of 'equality', woman should pay for dating costs moderately. But it doesn't mean that man don't have to pay at all. I think dutch treat is the most reasonable choice for couple.
And if woman is reasonable person or she really love man, she will pay money without hesitation.
Front door - Ko Yun Jeong
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 4:50 am

Should woman ofer to pay?

Post by Front door - Ko Yun Jeong »

These days, there is an expression which characterized an woman full of vanity .
It's "Doenjang girls". It means that a brain of an woman full of vanity is full of "Doenjang" (It seems like poop)
I was impressed by the word so called "LOSER GIRL" It's about a woman who said that "Everyman who is lower than 180cm is loser!"
After that, she had to give up school, change her name because of netizen.
I don't know where the sarcastic words come from. Is it from men? And also, I don't know why there is no exist about sarcastic words toward man like "ㅇㅇㅇboy"
In Korea, It used to be more natural that man pays for meal. And still, it does.
But I think that it's natural, not fair.
In my case, I have a boyfriend .I paid for dinner and he paid for our dating. Except me, there are many couples around me who take "Dutch treat"
There are always idiots. Absolutely, it includes man. I don't want to see personal attack towards woman naming "ㅁㅁㅁ girl"
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 12:37 pm

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by elevenoclock_yeoeulpark »

I thought the notion came from a distorted 'what a guy as a gentleman should do' thinking which is Western, so what you think is interesting and new to me.
Posts: 28
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:54 am

Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by elevenoclock_kyungAOh »

While I was reading ‘Should a Woman Offer to Pay?’, I felt bad because some men treated women as a sexual object. A man is saying “Since you’ve slept with her, start going to cheaper places.” I am so angry with this because I know it is true that many men think like this. There was another sexually offensive phrase, “a gold-digging whore”. I can’t understand why men think their partner as only a sexual object.

It is true that many women start offering to pay for their date, nowadays. For example, my younger sister often pays for dinner when her boy friend buys the tickets for a movie in advance. She says that she feels comfortable in this way. I think the dating world is working like this, now. However, I feel sort of nostalgic. My husband never felt he was played or it was unfair when he paid the entire bill for our date all the time. It was about 10 years ago and most couples felt like us at that time.
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 3:28 am

Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Elevenoclock_JoonhoKim »

Above all things, my answer is 'absolutely, yes'
Of course, there exist some kinds of manners what men should perform when they go out with women. Yet, that doesn't mean women can stay away from paying things.
Comparing to the past, it has been changing a lot. There were much progress about this issue. I think this problem is no more type of issue which comes from social stereotype but it more depends on what type of person she is.
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Mar 18, 2011 2:52 am
Location: Donong, Namyang-ju, Gyeonggi-do, South Korea

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by elevenoclock_jiminyoon »

Hana, I find your theory very interesting! ^^
Don't know if I can say I agree 100% with what you said though.

I'm with Yeoeul on this one..

There's a pretty old saying that goes something like this:
A man and a woman both spend money on their date.
The man empties his wallet for the food, the entertainment, and the transportation..
While the woman empties her wallet to pretty herself up.. for her man.

Haha.. Just because I posted this.. it doesn't mean that I agree with this..
Then again.. saying the above doesn't neccessarily mean that i don't agree with this either! hahaha
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:08 am

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by FRONTDOORseolsungyeob »

Yea I agree with you in that the girl would be willing to pay if she did care for the guy. I hope not too many guys go through paying for dates every single time.
frontdoor-Lee Sejin
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:21 am

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by frontdoor-Lee Sejin »

Oh, I think your opinion is right. Frankly speaking, it is good for women if men pay all for datings. But sometimes women also feel some kind of burden when men pay all. So, many women want to pay some percentages of money, too. One of the students in my discussion group told me that a person who asks for a dating should pay all whoever a person is a man or a woman. However, I disagree with this opinion because if they consider each other, it can not happens.

Anyway, I almost agree with your thought in an aspect that women should take charge of some percentages of money, not all.
201020037 Tae Kyoung
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:34 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by 201020037 Tae Kyoung »

I think...It's not law, just convention...

most of woman will understand

Don't worry ^^
200820449 hongheamin
Posts: 21
Joined: Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:45 pm

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by 200820449 hongheamin »

Hi Hana :D I agree with your opinion.
As you said, more and more women are entering the workforce.
Paying for date is not only for men, but women also have ability to pay for date these days.
So dutch treat is a good idea, but I think dutch treat is not agreeable to the Korean sentiment a little.
Paying the money equally is very fear, but it doesn't sound that familiar.
How about this? If man pay for dinner, then woman pay for coffee.
What is your policy for paying on dates? :)
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2011 10:28 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by jungjinwon »

I think that is our stereotype which has to be being broken.

someone who is relatively rich than the other one must that cost without reference to sex

we should think outside the box

Don't you think so?

What is your policy for paying on dates?
201020492 do kang hyuk
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Mar 10, 2011 1:00 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by 201020492 do kang hyuk »

i agree with you. nice meet you!!
I agree ancient is just ancient. i think, this problem is case by case.
if man is much money and he is more love than woman, i think man have more spending than woman. it is possible. doesn't it??
the other way is ok. it is also possibe. doesn't it??
also, some couple value 'equality', dutch treat is ok, too.

but i feel "value 'equality' couple is a steady increse. it's is good phenomenon men and women.
because if not 'equality cause relation domination. example, some people have victim mentality, and violate of privacy.
i think it is not desirability and cause farewell.
200920612/Seoung O
Posts: 18
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2011 3:28 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by 200920612/Seoung O »

I agree your opinion.
we argue gender equality in many part.
so, I think that we will change our behavior and thinking.
This help for women, also.
Post Reply