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Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 1:34 pm
by HappySoHyun
I agree with you. It's unfair for men to cover all the expences. But it is weird when the couple split the expences in half. In my opinion, when man treat dinner for woman then woman buy coffee or something. Thesedays many women pay for date and they don't think that men have to pay all. If men bear all the expences, it became hard to go on a date, and they don't want to make a girl freind anymore.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 1:51 pm
by AllA+/Sian_Winstanley
HappySoHyun wrote:I agree with you. It's unfair for men to cover all the expences. But it is weird when the couple split the expences in half. In my opinion, when man treat dinner for woman then woman buy coffee or something. Thesedays many women pay for date and they don't think that men have to pay all. If men bear all the expences, it became hard to go on a date, and they don't want to make a girl freind anymore.
^ I agree! Why make things more awkward and difficult to date, when couples should just be enjoying themselves!

Also, here's a funny photo I found.. don't feel offended, it's just for fun. :D

Image

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 3:25 pm
by [Happy] Shin Daecheol
I got impression after I read your opinion. It is very reasonable and sensible.

In case of me, I was quite conservative to love. So, I had been thought man should pay for date.
But, if man alway pay for date, both man and woman in couple take burden, financial burden for man and mental burden for woman( this is because, she may think herself that she seems to use her boyfriend.).
In my opinion, a " Give three times, take once" rule can be a good solution to the problem 'who should pay for date'. If man pays the cost three times, woman pays once. Although man and woman would pay for date wisely by using G3T1(Give three times, take once), the cost for first date should belong to man. This is the manner I think.

Conclusion : We should be wise when we pay for date. But, paying is not all. THE IMPORTANT THING IS NOT THE PAYMENT FOR THE DATE, BUT THE FACT THAT YOU LOVE EACH OTEHR. We can take many accounts, but we can have only one whom we love. So, if you love each other, do not hesitate to give something for the partner.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 8:02 pm
by James Trotta
HappySoHyun wrote:I agree with you. It's unfair for men to cover all the expences. But it is weird when the couple split the expences in half. In my opinion, when man treat dinner for woman then woman buy coffee or something. Thesedays many women pay for date and they don't think that men have to pay all. If men bear all the expences, it became hard to go on a date, and they don't want to make a girl freind anymore.
This is an interesting cultural difference because in America we don't consider it awkward to split the bill when it comes. And that doesn't even mean splitting it in half. Let's say I order a burger but my girlfriend orders a steak. When the bill comes you can bet she will be paying more than me because her steak would be more expensive than my burger.
AllA+/Sian_Winstanley wrote:^ I agree! Why make things more awkward and difficult to date, when couples should just be enjoying themselves!

Also, here's a funny photo I found.. don't feel offended, it's just for fun. :D

Image
:lol:
Politically incorrect but funny nonetheless. Although I wonder if you could find the same thing in reverse (concluding that men are a problem) with as much ease because that would be fair.

Being married, I haven't dated in the true sense of the word for a while. But when I dated I always remember splitting things but never keeping track of the exact details. I would pay on the first date assuming I asked for it (if she asked for it, I would offer to pay my share). After that, anyone could pay or we could split it and there was never any spoken agreement; we would just figure it out as we went along.

I do remember one time in college I was in a restaurant with a bunch of friends including my girlfriend and she was paying. The waiter didn't know this and he asked if I wanted another milk shake. I asked my girlfriend since she was the one paying and she said sure. The waiter said, "What a lucky guy," or something like that. I guess that shows it's still normal for men to pay on dates (or at least it was in 1999) and slightly unusual for the woman to pay for everything. But not for the woman to pay her share.

Does anyone have any gay or lesbian friends in the dating scene? I would love to know how a gay couple muddles through the issue of who pays.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Mon May 23, 2011 11:11 pm
by scarlettO
I guess I'm a little old fashioned since I still believe in the gentleman paying, at least at first. Maybe after I know someone for a while, I might offer to pay some part of it. But, I would expect him not to take me up on the offer! Yes, I am old fashioned... :D If the man doesn't have any money, he shouldn't ask for a date. I dated a man one time for a while, and one time he told me that he only had so much money that night, so what did I want to do. I felt a lot better about that, than his expecting me to pay. Since I knew what he could afford that evening, I was willing to make it a movie and hamburger night. It really depends though on how long you know someone and what you feel comfortable with.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Tue May 24, 2011 4:08 pm
by smile jiwon yeom
The problem is the social expectation for men to pay for the date.
But I think most of women will share sholders with their love ones if she don't want to loose her boyfriend.
It doesn't depend on rich and poor or the amount of cost. Men also don't think women should go dutch exaxtly half of the cost.
At least, men won't feel getting played when women offers to go dutch or ask to buy a cup of coffee for him.
Sharing cost of the date is not about calculation or ratio, but it's about heart. I think :roll:

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 12:09 pm
by SmileSarahKim
I agree with your idea that women need to pay for date, too.
It is totally old-fasioned and unfair traditional date culture.(I heard that it happened on our parents' generation, too.)
However, there are tones of Korean women who think that they don't even need to throw a coin on a date.
Here, I specifically stated 'Korean women' because going dutch is normal for western date culture.
(But, man usually pays for the first date if he asked a woman out.)
However, I think men are also responsible for this situation.
Most of my male friends say that they are willing to pay for date when they meet hot girls.
Moreover, some guys happily collects money by doing part-time job when they are scheduled blind dates pretty girls.
For these reasons, I think men have brought themselves to this situation :lol:

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 12:53 pm
by smile Moon Tae Ho
I think girls should feel the necessity to go dutch when her date is a student or man and woman are both students.
If two university students go out on a number of dates and the man has to pay for all of it, it would be unfair for man.
It is because for a university student to make money is quite hard to do.
Women should be more open about going dutch !

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 4:09 pm
by smileyeri
There's no obligation that man have to pay for everything or woman have to pay..
It depends..
If man is rich, he pays more money than woman..same as opposite.
however, it is problem that even though man have no money, woman keeps expecting her boyfriend pays everything.

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 8:56 pm
by Smile Yura Kwon
I agree with your opinion.

Women also have to pay the bill on a date.

These days, it is natural that women share the bill with men when they have a date.

I think dating is a thing that men and women make together. Therefore, paying the date cost together is right.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 11:19 pm
by smileHeeJinLee
Hmm. I think there are some conditions which makes whom to pay. First, it depans on their social status. If couples are both have no job, just students, then it is better to do dutch or maybe man pays little bit more.
But if couples are both have job, i think man should pays. Because woman need to decorating themselves, and it costs a lot.
And man in Korea usually have job longer than woman. so it is clear that in our society man has more money than woman in general.
Second, it depans on their background awareness. In the past, normally man has obligation to pay. and that kind of pressures are still remains untill today to someone.
these kind of differences usually comes from their parent's acting. if your father is authoritative or old fashion, their son might feel he must pay for his date, and if his date pays, he might hurt his pride. this kind of things are stronger in Korea.

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 8:34 am
by smile jun-yeong yeo
I agree on your opinion too. But it can't be denied that when I asked the girl out, it is natural that I should pay for her.
Of course, I want to go dutch. But These roles that when dating, women need not offer to pay and men pay all are very ingrained into our society.
The best thing is women offer to pay first. But It may be difficult to be waiting practically until women offer to pay.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Tue May 31, 2011 3:08 pm
by happy chorong han
I agree with your opinion that women have to pay for date.
I think 'go dutch' is the best way of paying for date.
regardless the man who I meet is my boyfriend or in blind date,
It's uncomfortable for me when man pay for everything.
especially when man pay a lot of money!
(and I belive many women think like me)

but most of all, I think, showing the appreciation is the matter.
I don't know what men think about it, but for me, If man shows appreciation truely,
may be I can pay all dating cost. haha...

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Posted: Wed Jun 01, 2011 1:20 pm
by FRONTDOORseolsungyeob
[Happy] Shin Daecheol
-The give 3 times and take once rule seems like a good way to even things out. And your right, dating shouldn't be about who pays for what; it should be about how much they care for one another.

smileyeri
-If I or any other man reading these posts were filthy rich, I don't think any of us would mind paying everything. Sadly, that isn't the case.
And I have yet to meet a girl where she expects the guy to pay for EVERYTHING.

Re: Should women pay for date?

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 2:20 pm
by Tony-W56/200700656
I agree with you too. Many women believe that men should pay for date but I disagree with this.
Indeed, I have many friends around me that actually thinks this way but I am totally against this.
I believe that it is a streotype that men should pay for date and I think that it is time for us to break this thought,
especially, as we are in the 21st century. The power of women is growing day by day and we are fighting for women's equality
and yet relying on men's money seems very ironic. However, rather than 'dutch pay', i think it is better for the men to buy dinner
and the women to pay for the dessert or for the movie...etc.