Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Talk about dating, breaking up, getting married, etc. This is where you can talk about units 2 & 4 in Authentic English Readings for Advanced Students.
Tony-W78-200503394
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:11 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-W78-200503394 » Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:05 am

I personally think that man should pay for the meal but women should must pay for coffee or ice creams.
And this is what is happening in Korea nowadays. However, some people might think that man should pay everything for their date. And this isn't really right because blind date is meeting people that they've never seen before, and paying money for unknown person isn't really necessary. So, i think man should only pay for meal and coffee for woman is the legitimate way of dating

Yunyoung_w78_200700700
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 06, 2011 7:59 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Yunyoung_w78_200700700 » Mon Jun 06, 2011 8:31 am

Interesting....

As a woman, i wouldn't say that man should pay everything for a date.

Maybe ... guys pay a meal and girls pay a dessert.

but still, it is considered to be a gentlman thing to pay for almost everything for first or second dates in Korea.
it's because guys usually ask for girls.

After all, someone who is insecure will pay anyway.....

Personally, i do not want to meet a guy who are not wiiling to pay for me for a couple of dates. That means he's not just ready or not that into me.

Tony-w12-201102723
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 1:14 pm

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-w12-201102723 » Mon Jun 06, 2011 11:13 am

I agree with your opinion, personally.
One day, I was surprised to hear that there are still some women who think men should pay all of things when dating.
This kind of thinking is just an ingrained social culture of Korea for a long time. However,
there is no rule that forces men to pay for a date. Nowadays, there are lots of women who have enough abilities
to afford for a date and they are willing to do so. Dating is just a process to share a feeling of love between man and woman.
It also has to be flexible depending on each situation. Therefore, I think the culture and stereotype have to be changed in
order to have a pleasing date for both men and women.

Tony-W78-200600474
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:22 am

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by Tony-W78-200600474 » Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:04 pm

pleased to read your post, but my point is slightly different?
I think it is just the date habit thing, i don't see it as a big giant sexist issue.
What is interesting to me is that he took her five times only to the fancy restaurant so she might get the wrong signal
as if he's still trying to impress her and she's treated. (the man: all on me!!!??????)
And did he mention that he and she are getting serious?
5 dates are quiet big, yes, but some people need certain something to define a serious relationship.
After they define what they are, she might be willing to go dutch.
A piece of my advice for the writer; have a cheap date next time.
If she doesn't want to pay her share at that date, hmmmmm she can be a gold digger or just has a bad date habit.

Tony-w56-200801284
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:26 pm

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-w56-200801284 » Mon Jun 06, 2011 12:42 pm

Hmm...I agree with you guys too, but I think to go dutch is not good for a close relationship.
If you ask a girl out, and then want from her to pay the bill dutch, what would she think about you??
Therefore, I think the correct equal share of the date cost is not a wise solution.
In my case, I make it this way; when I buy a girl dinner, then she offers me to buy a coffee for both of us after that.
This is the most natural way to solve this problem, because if you go dutch, you have sometimes embarrassing
moments on the counter by dividing the bill. Of course I would pay more than the girl, but it is still cheaper
than paying the whole date cost.

FRONTDOORseolsungyeob
Posts: 17
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:08 am

Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by FRONTDOORseolsungyeob » Mon Jun 06, 2011 1:52 pm

Dear Tony,

No where in my post does it say that this is a big sexist issue. I stated that the comments left in the book we were reading was sexist.

Tony-w56-201003739
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2011 1:38 pm

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-w56-201003739 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 4:53 am

Hello, I'm Jeeyoon,Han in professor Tony's w56 class.
I agree your opinion that 'Ancient is ancient'
These days, women's rights are growing more and more.
Unlike ancient times, men and women can earn money almost equally.
I don't think women must share the pay for all but I think women should share expenses for the date.

Tony-w12-200803084
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 6:14 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-w12-200803084 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 6:54 am

I am totally agree with your idea.
These days, women ask that men and women should enjoy equal rights.
With this point and such claims, it could be a kind of paradox if women don't pay for date.
I think they can want not to pay, but they have to pay.

Tony-w12-201101882
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:29 am

Re: Should woman ofer to pay?

Post by Tony-w12-201101882 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:11 am

I also read 'shold woman ofer to pay?' and thought it's little different from our real world.
In our real life, many couple pay for their dating together and doesn't feel hesitant to ask each other
to pay for each share. Of course, there are some men and women who think it's natural that a man
pay for all expense needed for dating. But they are minor and the number of people who don't think
like that are much more. In my case, i also dutch paid for a dinner when i had blind-dating. And if
a man paid for a dinner earlier, i paid for dessert. Because I thoutht that is fair and reasonable. We were
both students, so we had someting in common in that we were both short of money. And dutch paying contributes
to the extension of date term , because doing it make good impression to each other.
So, I think it's unfair that only man should ofer to pay. And therefore in my opinion, the man in this article
had better break up with the woman and find another woman who can understand him and pay for her share
, if the woman continues to remain that attitude.

Tony-W12 201100555
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:19 pm

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-W12 201100555 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:48 am

I do agree with you guys opinions.
actually, in my case, I feel comfortable to treat my boyfriend at least coffee or ice cream in return for things he paid for me.
of course being treated is good but I felt sorry when he paid everything.

Tony-w12-201101215
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 5:38 am

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-w12-201101215 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:57 am

I i think it would still be polite for the man to offer to pay the bill and the woman is more than allowed to decline and even offer to pay herself.

I dont really think there is a right or wrong asnwer and it all depends on the individual person.

tony-w12-200901665re
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:02 am

Should woman pay for date?

Post by tony-w12-200901665re » Tue Jun 07, 2011 11:46 am

I think woman should pay for date.

Some women say they should spend money for their beauty for their lovers.

However, That is simply an excuse and nothing more.
What about men?
As a man, I feel exactly the same as women.
Men also want to be look more nice to their lovers.

And honestly, the biggest problem is some women's attitude.
Some women regard men's paying as fair.
This cause many men, include me, ill will.

Tony-W78-200503441
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:12 am

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-W78-200503441 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:30 pm

Like other students discussed, I think that women should pay for date, too. Comparing the past, I mean at least 2~3 decades ago, this society is fair for both men and women, which means men don't earn more money than women. Date is not only for men's hapiness or satisfaction but also for women. They share the time and date. I know that many women pay money nowadays but some women still think that men have to pay all the money during date. Those women are called 'Doenjang girl' and are regarded as women who are not considerate at all. In this 'fair' society, both men and women should pay for date.

Tony-w12-201002969 장지웅
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Apr 03, 2011 3:50 am

Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-w12-201002969 장지웅 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 1:58 pm

I think most of women these days prefer to go dutch or pay by themselves,
but still there are some girls who expect their partners to pay for them.
I think men who try to get attention or love by spending lots of money cause this tendency.
I think women should pay for date and women paying for date would be natural if men stop
spending whole date fees and thinking that lots of money would buy the attention or love. :D

Tony-w12-201103684
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 2:50 pm

Re: Should women pay for date?

Post by Tony-w12-201103684 » Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:16 pm

I agree with your idea.
The ancient culture is just past and has no relation with us.
I also think 'Dutch Pay' is most ideal.
But is real world, ideas about dating fee is various.
someone thinks men have to pay for a date.
someone thinks man and woman have to pay equally.
someone thinks person who earn more money have to pay.
someone thinks person who is older have to pay,
no matter whether that person is man or woman.
So i think problem about dating fee should be solved
only between the man and woman by conversation

Post Reply