Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Talk about dating, breaking up, getting married, etc. This is where you can talk about units 2 & 4 in Authentic English Readings for Advanced Students.
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Tony W12-200502564
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Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:03 am

Should a woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony W12-200502564 » Fri Jun 10, 2011 7:30 am

Should a woman offer to pay when having a date?

I disagree with the idea that a woman should offer to pay when having a date.
This is because in my experience when I was a freshman I went out with a girl I adored. We had a great time before we got a dinner.
We visited an Italian restaurant and had a delicious meal, and when the time to pay had come, I offered her to go dutch.
As soon as I suggested going dutch, I noticed her face being frowned. I did not realize something was wrong at the moment, however,
when I asked her to go out after the dinner, she rejected my proposal. I guess she might have been disappointed about my attitude in restaurant.
Therefore, If you have someone you like, don't hesitate to pay for the dinner.
In addition, in Korea, when a man suggests going dutch, it looks a bit stingy, so I tend to pay in advance to avoid an awkward situation. :D

Tony-wed56-200804003
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Re: Should a woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-wed56-200804003 » Sat Jun 11, 2011 7:19 am

I agree with your opinion partly.
In korea, it is important thing that who pay for the dinner in date of couple.

Man have to prepared for paying date costs when he has a date with girlfriend.
But it is impossible that man is always pay for dinner unless he is a millionaire or billionaire.

I think it is question of number of paying for something.
It is reasonable that man is more often paying for dinner or something,
then woman is less often paying for date fee I think.

Tony-w56/200702094
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Joined: Wed Jun 15, 2011 2:49 am

Re: Should a woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-w56/200702094 » Wed Jun 15, 2011 3:09 am

Well I do agree with you.

In my case,
I prefer Dutch Treat when I'm on a date.
If my boyfriend buys me a dinner than coffe is on me!
I don't know why Korean women are so sensitive about
offering to pay thier money during dating.

So, if the guy run out of money by spending it all on dating,
are you going to kick him off?
ummm, VERY LAME!

Lost SunYoung
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Joined: Thu Mar 15, 2012 9:52 am

Hi

Post by Lost SunYoung » Sun Mar 25, 2012 12:32 pm

Hi I'm Sun Young from 'Lost' class.
I so agree with that women should pay as well.
These days, women have equal rights as men.
No sex discrimination is allowed in most of the areas.
I don't get why sex discrimination is allowed only in dating world and why men are the only one paying for the whole date.
I think a woman should pay as equally as a man when dating, and even though he doesn't allow her to pay, she could at least offer to pay.
That's the proper courtesy.
And many couples have already adapted various ways to pay for a date.
One of the most common way is that men pay for the meal and women pay for the coffee.
It means that men pay for the things that are slightly more expensive.
And some make a bankbook (It's called "Date bankbook") together, and each deposits a certain amount of money every month.
They pay for whatever they do on a date from that bankbook.
That way, a woman and a man can spend just equal amount of money.

(Aplus) Lee Dae jae
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Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (Aplus) Lee Dae jae » Sat Apr 28, 2012 2:05 am

In our society, men offer to pay usually.
If a couple date, man offer all the things; dating, meals, and so on.
I cannot understand why this custom is in our society.
Of course some women pay half, or also pay somethings.

Meeting or dating is important but paying which is related money is also serious problem.
But by social custom or by man's self-esteem, man insists to pay all the things.
So I think if the woman is reasonable, it is better that waman pay also or make a couple bankbook.

(apple) jung hyun chae
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (apple) jung hyun chae » Tue May 01, 2012 4:06 am

I think women should pay for date too. Both of them are enjoying time together, so couple should pay for it together.
When couple are students, both of them are not well-off or make money by themselves, so money for dating should be equally covered.
If dutch pay makes them feel awkward, then it would be better to pay for diffferent things. Ex: Men pay for dinner, then women pay for movie, cafe.

(starbucks)Han Sun Joo
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (starbucks)Han Sun Joo » Tue May 01, 2012 12:03 pm

I have a boyfriend. So everyday we meet and spend money for dating. But actually in my case, I always try to pay for half of the spending or pay whole money. Because we are students, so I think it is unfair that one person have to pay whole cost. I consider that it also contains equality between woman and man. Woman always insist for their rights(for equality). However ironically, this situation or tradition is also unfair. If woman wants to insist their opinion, I think that they have to change their thoughts about these wrong tradition first.

(Starbucks)Seungjae Lee
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (Starbucks)Seungjae Lee » Tue May 01, 2012 2:27 pm

It is really good point. I think it is very unfair for only men to pay everything.
It is a kind of reverse discrimination. Most people say that both sex are equal.
Then the responsibility of expense must be equal. Like men must do the dishes,
women also must burden the date expense. That is true sexual equality.
Actually more and more women say it is fair to pay the date expense equally, too.

(Starbucks)Seungjae Lee
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (Starbucks)Seungjae Lee » Tue May 01, 2012 2:28 pm

It is really good point. I think it is very unfair for only men to pay everything.
It is a kind of reverse discrimination. Most people say that both sex are equal.
Then the responsibility of expense must be equal. Like men must do the dishes,
women also must burden the date expense. That is true sexual equality.
Actually more and more women say it is fair to pay the date expense equally, too.

Starbucks - Lee JiHoon
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by Starbucks - Lee JiHoon » Tue May 01, 2012 2:46 pm

I agree with the idea right above, however I think we have to face the reality of the social phenomenon. I do not insist only the case in South Korea, however all over the world, the trend of payment within a date between a man and a woman is necessarily stereotyped. Since men are the gender to look for women of their future mate, it is their responsibility to pay for the date. If anyone or any men persist on keeping the payment equal, which women would date such men? Of course, it seems irresponsible and self-egoistic for the many of the women who don't pay, however we have to face the long-lasted trend.

(lost) lee dae young
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (lost) lee dae young » Tue May 08, 2012 9:53 am

I partly agree with your idea. Actually, that is the opinion that I've had.

Since women achieved equality as men, they should take some responsibility for it.

But I suppose we should consider one more thing. I believe that in terms of relationship, women have more power than men naturally.

That's why in most species, it is male that attract female giving something to them.

So, I don't come to conclusion though. Let's think about it.

(starbucks)Han Hye Kyung
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (starbucks)Han Hye Kyung » Wed May 09, 2012 2:00 am

I think that the tradition of man paying for the whole date came from the idea that it is a good manner. Thought that man should protect women also influence the payment of dating cost. I think this is pressuring many men on their date that he might look like looser and boyfriend with an ill manner. I also think that if women really want to require their equal right such as men should also do some housework, women should also be equal on burdening dating cost. I think women should not be waiting for men's protection passively.

(101)Leeyerang
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (101)Leeyerang » Wed May 09, 2012 2:32 am

I agree on your opinion too. Women are saying that they want to be treated equally as men and I think that this equality should be applied in dates too. Most peole think that men should pay the date costs however I think that the date costs should be divided equally. The date is for both the woman and man. It is the two people that are enjoying the date . Why does the man only have to pay?
Of course the thought is changing as the time goes and women are paying more and more in dates. But still I think that men pay much more than women do and I also heard that some men pay to women who are not girlfriends because they are men.

(sixzero7)leedaul
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by (sixzero7)leedaul » Wed May 09, 2012 5:24 am

I think, if a woman is considerate and cares the man enough, she wouldn't (and shouldn't) put a lot of pressure on him.
I am a girl, and I wouldn't feel so good about my boyfriend paying for everything, even if it''s from goodwill.

Sun-Jinahkim
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by Sun-Jinahkim » Tue May 15, 2012 10:51 am

So, you'are saying that women should offer to pay. I agree with your idea but for slightly different reason.
In the class, I learned that it is not only the problem in Korean but also in America. I had thought that it is a huge problem of Korean women but after the class I realized that even in America mostly men are expected to pay whole or maybe more.

I partially pay when I date with my boyfriend and I think it is right thing to do. However, I don't pay to increase women's equality and fairness or to decrease discrimination or whatever. I pay because I equally have a responsibility in the relationship and I want to. Both of us are students and we don't have huge amount of money and I don't want to burden my boyfriend and let him feel burdened.

I think we don't need many reasons to pay and also don't need any arguments about this. It's a matter of how much one is willing to keep the relationship and consideration for one's partner regardless of gender.

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