Why do men always have to host a surprise event?

Talk about dating, breaking up, getting married, etc. This is where you can talk about units 2 & 4 in Authentic English Readings for Advanced Students.
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(starbucks)Kuk Hye Ran
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 9:54 am

Why do men always have to host a surprise event?

Post by (starbucks)Kuk Hye Ran »

I have been told that most men around me planned a surprise event for their girl friends to congratulate their an anniversary.
Men spend a lot of money to host a splendid event.
Because of this, they often worry about spending much money.
Some women are so proud to be given a surprise event that they boast about this in front of their friends.
Moreover, If their boy firiends prepare a poor event and even don't, some women will probably feel unloved from their boy friends and be ashamed
Isn't this women's vanity?
Why do men always have to host an event?
On the contrary, Why do women expect their boy friends to arrange an event?
Is there more meaning to an anniversary if men spend more money or host an event?

(apple)kim sojeong
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:22 pm

Re: Why do men always have to host a surprise event?

Post by (apple)kim sojeong »

Surprise events should be exciting and heartwarming, not only for people who are receiving them but for those who throw them as well.
But unfortunately some find it as a burden.
I think Koreans in general are a bit obsessed with anniversaries.
It would truely be fantastic if they are done out of sincerity, not to show on your Facebook wall.
But some, like you said do it because other couples do it and it stresses them out.
It almost feels like a ritual that you do but you don't really care about the meaning or the purpose of doing it.
I think people do it because others do it, and yes, vanity is definitely playing a key role here.

But to get to your other point,
why is it always men that throw a surprise event for their girlfriend, not the other way around?

I think it's the same reason why men pay for dates, why they are the ones that kneel on one knee.
They still play the dominant role in a woman-man relationship because women are still perceived as more vulnerable and therefore the ones to be
protected and cared for.

But I don't think that only men "have to" throw surprise events. Their girlfriends should do those things if they actually like them.
Frankly, I think that if you sincerely like someone it wouldn't really matter if you are a guy or a girl when you do things for them, and it wouldn't really
matter if it's flashy or not.

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Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2012 1:06 pm

Re: Why do men always have to host a surprise event?

Post by starbucks_KyungAOh »

I think men and women have different anticipation from their partner and they feel love in a different way. According to the book “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” written by John Gray, women need to receive “devotion” and men need to receive “admiration” in order to improve the relationship with their partner. When a man prepare a surprise event, he can show his dedication to his girlfriend and a woman will admire her boyfriend. Therefore, I think a surprise event can act as an accelerator of love between a man and a woman. So, it plays a much more important role than just satisfying women’s vanity. As to the payment and host for the event, it would be better for men to be in charge. It is not important how much money men spend for the event. The point is the couple can share their love with celebrating their anniversary together. It might seem to be unfair for men to prepare all the events. However, if we think about the love and happiness we will have after the event, a little responsibility for men will be worthwhile. Don’t you think so, guys?

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Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 5:53 am

Re: Why do men always have to host a surprise event?

Post by (Aplus)LeeMinHyung »

I would say the reason men host a surprise event for women comes from the gender differences. Men are usually more strong than women both physically and emotionally. There could be exceptions, but most men prefer to do some outdoor activities which are making men much more masculine. And as a result, men become emotionally less delicate, which means women are more fragile and sensitive in emotional fulfillness. And this also implies women are more appropriate gender to get easily touched by emotional impressions than their tough counterpart. For this reason, men are often regarded as the ones who are hosting a surprise event. Because women are more likely to be moved by these surprise events, men host this event in most cases.

However, these days men do also put more importance on the emotional satisfaction. They think this idea is so feminine that they try to hide their emotional dissatisfaction and to pretend to be an outgoing and easygoing guy. I mean we, men, also want to get a surprise event by our lover, though we do not express this kind of feelings. Therefore, men will keep being regarded as the main gender who hosts this event until he reveals that he also wants to be the one who is given a surprise event by his girlfriend.

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Joined: Sat Mar 10, 2012 2:56 pm

Re: Why do men always have to host a surprise event?

Post by (Aplus)kimyongsun »

I agree that most surprise events are hosted by the men and the women expect their boy friends to plan a special and unique event for them. However, planning the surprise events for an anniversary might be burdensome for the hosts, especially the men. Most women behave paradoxically in the aspect of sex equality. They claim that the men and women are equal. However, when it comes to a date, they expect the men to do something special for them and treat them as a queen.I think that the women should change their thought that the men should host the anniversary events and they should recognize that the women can also afford to plan a special anniversary event for their boy friend. Also, it is not awkward that the men express their emotions to their girl friends, so the men does not need to be hesitant to show their feelings.

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