please make correction

Another very broad topic but a good place for discussions on units 9, 10, and 11 of Authentic English readings for Advanced Students. Please note that most grammar and vocabulary questions do NOT belong here. Check out the other boards for those kinds of questions.
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pam
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 11:29 pm

please make correction

Post by pam » Mon May 23, 2011 11:52 pm

My name is pam. I would like to improve my English. I read and write but some time I don’t know how to write sentence or sometime missing verb. Like I want to ask my boss who is going to train co-worker.

boxcar
Posts: 228
Joined: Sat Nov 27, 2010 8:30 am

Re: please make correction

Post by boxcar » Sat May 28, 2011 6:57 am

You seem like you have the jist of things Pam, though maybe you are missing a few small things. I am not a teacher by any means but hopefully this could be helpful to you. If I were to write the sentences you wrote it would go more like this:

My name is Pam. I would like to improve my English. I read and write but sometimes I don’t know how to write a sentence or sometimes I miss a verb. For example, I want to ask my boss "who is going to train a co-worker?"

pam
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 11:29 pm

Re: please make correction

Post by pam » Sun May 29, 2011 2:23 am

Thank you for your feedback. it was very nice of you. I appricate your time and concern.

Now i can post something essay or writing so someone make correction so i can learn how to write correctly.

Thank you.

boxcar
Posts: 228
Joined: Sat Nov 27, 2010 8:30 am

Re: please make correction

Post by boxcar » Sun May 29, 2011 6:46 am

You're welcome and I am happy to help whenever I can. :)

pam
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 11:29 pm

Re: please make correction

Post by pam » Wed Jun 01, 2011 11:08 pm

I am writing this story just to see how many mistake I make and how well I can write then I can make decision should I take English classes to improve English or I am doing ok. I got feedback from my friends that my English is ok.



Here is Story Long time ago there was a girl, has two brother and one sister living with their parents. When she was growing up her family always has financial problem. Her father was a controlling person, he provide them everything but his own way. One time that girl get sick, during her sickness she has a problem and she was not able to walk anymore. Her father spent a lot of money on her so she could walk again. Her father was very hard worker, he worked until midnight wake up early morning so he can work. He brought work at home too so he can make money and provide everything to his family. Her mother on the other hand wants everything, want to live life like a rich person and sometime she waste money too. it is always her way or no way.

Time came that girl finished her college and her mother force her to marry a old person who was twenty one year older than her which was heart broke for that girl. Her mother advise her if she marry to that person she will be able to go another country and this way his brother and all family could have better life. She get married and she work hard and provide everything to her family (parents side) but she had very hard time with her in laws. She always want to have baby but her husband does not want to have one. Her all dreams was gone, she always smile and try to get through this life. Now her brother was well settled had good job and comfortable life. Her heart broke again when one of his brother start stop talking to her because she did not provide him what he want. She buy present for everybody but no one ever gave her anything. Her father start saying he does not have money and he stop taking care of the house. If anybody need anything they ask her. She want to see everybody happy she work hard try to save money and gave to everybody so they can live happy life. She never buy anything for her, her husband was nice took care of her and always tell her I feel bad for you but I can’t do anything for you.



Money is a bad thing and everybody is selfish in this world.

When I read this story it broke my heart. I tried to write in my own word to see how is my English.

Thank you for reading and feedback.

I appreciate if someone take time and let me know how bad my writing is .

scarlettO
Posts: 40
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:22 pm
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: please make correction

Post by scarlettO » Thu Jun 02, 2011 12:01 pm

Hi Pam,

Your English is quite good. The main thing I found is that you have some problem with when to use present and past tense. Since your story began with a long time ago, the verbs should be past tense. I made some corrections for you on the first paragraph which may give you a idea of what I'm talking about. The story is a good one though, so keep up with your writing and English.

A long time ago, a girl, her two brothers, and one sister lived with their parents. While she was growing up, her family always had financial problem. Her father was a very controlling person who provided them with everything, but in his own way. When the girl became ill, the illness caused a problem and she was not able to walk anymore. Her father spent a lot of money on her so she could walk again. Her father was a very hard worker who woke up early in the morning and worked until midnight. He brought work home too so he could make money and provide everything for his family. On the other hand, her mother wanted everything and wanted to live like a rich person. Sometimes, she wasted money too because it had to be her way or no way.

I'll be happy to help you further if you like.

Sharon (in the U.S.)

pam
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 11:29 pm

Re: please make correction

Post by pam » Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:15 pm

Thank you very much Sharon. It is very nice of you to help me.

I learned something i will try to write something again. I really want to improve my english.

scarlettO
Posts: 40
Joined: Sat Mar 04, 2006 2:22 pm
Location: Texas
Contact:

Re: please make correction

Post by scarlettO » Thu Jun 02, 2011 11:30 pm

You're very welcome Pam. Just let me know whenever I can help. I am a writer, so I enjoy doing this too. The more you write, the better you will get. Your ideas are good, so correcting grammar and some sentence structure is easy enough.

Sharon

pam
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 11:29 pm

Help

Post by pam » Sat Jun 04, 2011 12:21 am

Hi i just want to write something so i can improve english

I am trying to lose weight but my scale and body not working with me. I eat healthy, exercise 3-4 days a week try not to eat any fat food but still i gain weight or inches what ever you want to say. After two weeks i find out i gain weight again. What a waste to make effort to lose weight.
Any suggestion to lose weight fast . if not please make correction atleast i can learn english.

Thank for your time.

iman
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:26 pm

hi

Post by iman » Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:47 pm

hi my name's Iman im new to your site but i enjoyed it while i was using it.im learning English for one and half years now but still having problem with speaking and writting .I hope your site will help me improve my writing and im looking im looking forward to learn more about your Web and i hope you guys will help me too. Thanks you all and and iam lookinf forward for your help. bye

James Trotta
Site Admin
Posts: 1139
Joined: Fri Jun 18, 2004 10:08 am
Location: South Korea
Contact:

Re: hi

Post by James Trotta » Sat Oct 22, 2011 4:21 am

I'd say that 1.5 years is not long at all. Even after 15 years of studying most language learners will continue to make errors. There's just no avoiding it but you're smart to come here and try anyway - that's how you get better.
iman wrote:hi my name's Iman im new to your site but i enjoyed it while i was using it.im learning English for one and half years now but still having problem with speaking and writting .I hope your site will help me improve my writing and im looking im looking forward to learn more about your Web and i hope you guys will help me too. Thanks you all and and iam lookinf forward for your help. bye

sahra
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2012 6:33 am

Re: please make correction

Post by sahra » Mon Mar 19, 2012 7:15 am

hi guys can someone help how to learn english online face to face?

boxcar
Posts: 228
Joined: Sat Nov 27, 2010 8:30 am

Re: please make correction

Post by boxcar » Mon Mar 19, 2012 7:17 am

sahra wrote:hi guys can someone help how to learn english online face to face?
Do you mean using something like Skype?

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