Icebreaking

If you want to get some interview advice, come on in. Also the place for discussing units 6 & 12 of Authentic English Readings for Advanced Students. And if you need advice for a different kind of conversation that doesn't fit into one of the other categories, ask here. Examples include but are not limited to how to fire someone, how to tell someone their zipper is down, etc.
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starbucks-Leekyuik
Posts: 7
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 9:35 am

Icebreaking

Post by starbucks-Leekyuik » Sat May 19, 2012 11:58 am

We have so many chances to meet people who are not friendly. But it's not good to keep unfriendly with that kind of person and we need to get friendly with that kind of person. Then have you any method to icebreak with unfriendly people? If you have any let's talk about it together

(sixzero7)Songri Lee
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 6:04 am

Re: Icebreaking

Post by (sixzero7)Songri Lee » Sun May 20, 2012 6:19 am

Icebreaking is not easy for shy people like me. But it’s not really possible to live just with friendly people in this world so I’ve got my own strategies.

To start the conversation I thoughtfully pick some questions that are related to the circumstances that I got to know the person. For example, if I met this person in the same class maybe I could start the conversation with some questions about assignments, professor or the lecture. I think it might be better to start with ‘questions’ so the person could speak up.

And then to keep the conversation I start telling him/her about my basic personal information. If I came up with mine, the other person definitely would share his/hers. Sometimes I also refer to some of my friends or imaginary acquaintances to imply that maybe we could be friends because I am already a friend to someone like him/her.

These are what I commonly use but are not the answers. It might be difficult to start the conversation but I think it is much more difficult to keep the conversation. For that I should pay attention to the person and care for him/her. Focusing to find what he/she is interested, what he/she likes, or hates. There might be some answers or effective strategies for icebreaking but I think our attitude is more important like keeping trying and paying attention.

(apple)kim sojeong
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Mar 09, 2012 4:22 pm

Re: Icebreaking

Post by (apple)kim sojeong » Sun May 20, 2012 9:51 am

I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'unfriendly'.

If you are talking about people that are mean or sarcastic(not in a funny way, but really in a annoying way), which is what 'unfriendly' usually means(I think),
then I suggest don't even start talking to these people. Personally I think people should show respect to others and I believe(at least up to this point)
most people have the basic decency to do that. But if not, I don't see the point in trying to communicate with them.

But if you mean introverted (which I think is what you mean), you should definitely lead the conversation.
I have some introverted friends (and I sort of consider myself to be one from time to time) and they are quiet, not because they don't like you, but
they just don't know how to initiate the conversation. So you should start with something that brought you together, or something that interests you.
(but let's not go crazy and talk about Kant, the Bible or politics. Most people don't really find it as exciting or fun as you think it is. Trust me, I speak from experience.)

You could talk about a funny family incident, the latest movie that you've watched, your weirdest habbit or friend etc. I think those kind of worked out okay for me. Anything funny always works. Although perception of humor is something that is very subjective, I'm sure that there are some jokes or stories that most people can relate to and find funny. If that doesn't work either, well.. at least you've tried :)
(Honestly, if you cannot establish any rapport through what you think is funny, then you are not going to be able to connect with that person anyway. So why try?)

(101)Leeyerang
Posts: 24
Joined: Wed Mar 07, 2012 1:58 am

Re: Icebreaking

Post by (101)Leeyerang » Tue May 22, 2012 1:17 pm

When I meet a person for the first time, I think my behavior depends on how the person is. Since I am an introverted person, when the person I meet is shy as well It gets really hard however, if the person I meet is an extroverted person who speaks much, I speak a lot too. I think that this is something that I should fix. I should try to approach friendly to someone I first meet no matter what the person is like. So I think that I should find a way of icebreaking.

(101)Yoon Hye
Posts: 5
Joined: Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:15 pm

Re: Icebreaking

Post by (101)Yoon Hye » Mon May 28, 2012 3:40 pm

When I meet a person first time I often approach first to that person.
However I don't think we should approach first to other person on purpose.
I thinks it's not late to talk first when we have some situation that we talk together naturally.
And a way of icebreaking is talking common things like hobby or interestings and I thinks I can find other thing that can share together in the conversation before.
Some people think it's so difficult to treat a person first. But it can be easier if we just talk without prejudice and fear.

(Starbucks)Cho Yoon Jeong
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Mar 11, 2012 5:06 pm

Re: Icebreaking

Post by (Starbucks)Cho Yoon Jeong » Mon May 28, 2012 5:57 pm

The first thing I noticed after becoming a university student is that there are so many situations where I have to meet with someone whom I am not friendly with. I guess it's part of growing up. At first, I didn't know what to say to break that 'stiff' mood, so I just fumbled with my watch or something. But later on, I found some questions to break that mood. The most useful question I think is 'what's your hobby?'. Hobby is something light subject to talk about, so I think it removes the stiff mood and sets casual mood.

(Starbucks)Seungjae Lee
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Mar 12, 2012 2:33 pm

Re: Icebreaking

Post by (Starbucks)Seungjae Lee » Mon May 28, 2012 11:10 pm

When I meet someone first time, I usually icebreak by telling another friend. By joking another friend I can make the others laugh.
Then the mood gets more smooth and I can talking to the people more naturally. And I also 'pretend' to look loose.
For example, I pretend to forget some words and then the someone laugh by my 'intended' mistake.

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