Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Talk about dating, breaking up, getting married, etc. This is where you can talk about units 2 & 4 in Authentic English Readings for Advanced Students.
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Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:11 am

should a woman offer to pay? yeah.

Post by tony-w56-200200529 »

paying dinner by only men is unfair.
i don't understand some people who insist paying for women is a important manner or an etiquette.
when did it become a norm or unwritten law that we are supposed to keep?
manner is about "paying" respect , not about taking care of other people "financially"

of course, i can buy a meal for my girlfriend.
if i deeply love my lover, i can do everything.
but i want my girl friend to feel moved. that's the reason why i do that.
i believe that the origin of paying by men started from here, men started to buy for their girls because they wanted to make their lovers feel touched.
but as time went by, people has got forgotten the origin, and that custom remained as "a matter of coure."

i do my best to make you happy, then show me your proper response. very simple.

one important thing in love is "mutual respect"
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Joined: Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:09 am

Should a woman offer to pay? well, about 20 years ago, we...

Post by tony-w12-200904349 »

Should a woman offer to pay? Well, it seems to be a very picky question.
Actually, I have thought it is not fair that only man should pay for dating.
In my case, while in college(for your reference, I'm over forty kk...), I tried to go dutch whenever going dating.
However, my boyfriend didn't like my thought; in fact, he wanted to pay all costs for our date.
But I thought that we both are students, earn not much money by a part time job so, naturally we have to go dutch.
looking back that time, unlike me, many other women in the campus seemed to enjoy dating that only man pays for.
I'm not sure but they seemed to believe their boyfriend love them heartily only when men pay for dating.
Anyway, if my boyfriend had paid too much for our dating, I have could feel far more uncomfortable after breaking with him.
I still believe, to some extant, "Dutch pay" is a reasonable way to make each other comfortable.
Well, how about you?
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:21 am

Re: Should woman ofer to pay?

Post by tony-w56-200602466 »

I agree with “In our real life, many couple pay for their dating together and doesn't feel hesitant to ask each other
to pay for each share.”

But some men think that they have to pay for the date. And it makes them be more man.
So they feel pressure about paying money. I think they like to feel needed.
Also, some women think they don't need to pay anithing and make men buy things for them.
Some say they are "Doenjang girls."

I don't wanna judge them here.
It’s been controversial issue for many years. There's no perfect solution.
And it depends on every each person.
If they are couples, they have to deal with it together talking to each other.

It's very personal problem.
In my opinion, if the man has a job, I don’t care he pays all the money. But if both man and woman are students, it’s better to pay together.
I don't feel comfortable with man paying all the money. Personally, I don’t like going Dutch. It is better I pay one and man pays another.
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Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:18 am

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by tony-w56200903893 »

I totally agree with you. Being women doesn't mean being treated from men every single date. It doesn't make sense that men should pay everything to women especially in modern world where both sexes can get paid if they work hard. Unless a man is very rich so that he's totally willing to pay everything, both sexes should share bills or go dutch. I also think this issue is related to equality for both sexes, so women should pay things too if they promote gender equality and empower women.
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Should a woman offer to pay?

Post by tony-w78-200700663 »

I read an interesting topic and several people's oppinion. After finishing reading the text and thinking deeply, I have concluded that a woman should offer to pay for following reasons.
First, there is no free lunch. If someone paid for me, it means that I owed he or her. And the mind that I am indebted to somebody is the fastest way to be he or her slave.
Next, paying yourself for the service you enjoy is related to your pride. Wishing others favor is losing your pride and losing it means losing all. Bear in mind!
And finally, paying for what you used will makes you to be seemed more charming to your lover. In these days, most of men like wemen who has financial power. So, paying without any indecision can be a good way to take other sex's attraction.
Hey dude, do you want to be free, have pride, and be charming? If you do, do not hesitate to pay for all the benefit you enjoy.
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Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-w78-200800976 »

It seems to be true that many people think it's about the issue of "personality."
Actually, there're some cases that men judge women's personality by their attitudes in paying something in blind dates!
It means the thought that men should take all the burdens of paying money is the thing of the ancient.
If there's any woman who still thinks that making a payment is the men's thing, they have better changing their thought right now :evil:
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Re: Should woman ofer to pay?

Post by Tony-w78-200902115 »

I also read the text and became a little bit irritated,
because there were some replies that regard woman as a sexual thing.

But I agree with some opinions woman should pay too.
If the boy works while the girl doesn't, and gets more money than the girl,
he can pay more money than her. But of course, she should pay even a little money if she can.

And if both of them are just student, and earn pocket money,
girl should try to pay enough money, cause it's hard for man to pay all the money for dating.
When woman have dinner with their friends or other people, it's quite natural to pay for themselves.
So it's unreasonable to depend on man's wallet.
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Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:32 am

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-w12-201100425# »

I think the issue is really concerned with each individual's personality.
I saw some men who think paying bills on the dates is their duty. Maybe it seems very strange (Me too).
I believe most women or girls thesedays don't respond picky when they go dutch while they are dating.
Both man and woman should be brave to behave as an equal beings in entire matter not only financial things.
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 10:32 am

Re: should a woman offer to pay? yeah.

Post by Tony-w12-201100425# »

I agree with your conclusion "mutual respect".
Ultimately, you mean women should understand their boyfriend's realistic financial state.
Except some guys who have enough money to pay dating costs all , many people are busy living their own lives.
It is same with girls.
However, I wonder that going dutch at all circumstance while dating lasts good relationship or close relationship.
Sometimes, women want to be treated special and also it is good to be exact circulator but it doesn't look that cool.
It needs much flexibility.
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by Tony-w12-201100425# »

I seriously wonder whether there are women who reject to pay dating bills only just a percentage.
Since I haven't seen those kind of girls around me fortunately.
It seems that men had paid dating costs years ago but not now.
I believe most woman agree with it.
This social acknolwedgement approves that an equality between man and woman become stable in our lives.
Lastly, I think most of these financial issues come from high price of foods...
Let's criticize unreasonably high cost !! Lol
Tony-w12-2009003 Kim Eugene
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Joined: Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:28 am

Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by Tony-w12-2009003 Kim Eugene »

I think that on a first date, both parties have to hold the same responsibilty
only if a gap of economic status between two is not big.
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Re: Should a Woman Offer to Pay?

Post by tony-w78-200804032 »

I think money represent power or status in our society. Woman can get a better education and salary than their mother, which means they do not need to depend on the man anymore. Thus If woman want to give up pay the bill, they also give up thier equity against man.
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Re: Should woman offer to pay?

Post by tony-w12-201003231 »

When I eat out with my really really close friend, we do not share the bill. One pay all , and the other pay next time. Whenever I pay for my friend, I've ever thought it is waste. Because I know that it will be rewarded some day. Splitting the bill is harrasing and sometimes it is annoying, because eating has to be enjoyed without any concerns about how much do I hve to pay? or who is gonna pay? like this. In the case of couple, not different. I don't mean that one side pay every date. I think they rarely split the bill, as they are closer.
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Re: Should woman ofer to pay?

Post by tony-w12-201103023 »

Sometimes I feel skeptical about the relationship between man and woman
Occasionlly, it seems that some couples are just fulfilling their 'own need' from the relationship,
which is sex for man, money for woman.
(But maybe they would say that they 'love' each other.)

Nowadays many girls are willing to go duch with their boyfriend, yet still, it is considered not that natural,
For example, when students go 'meeting'(blind dating in groups) some girls complain when they are asked to go dutch.
Also, It is true that many mans treat a girl as a sexual object.

I think that someone should not be blamed fully for doing those things, because this is quite a complex problem.
Maybe the most important thing is considering other truly.
It is a simple thing but it would make the relationship much better, without any doubt.
Posts: 12
Joined: Wed Mar 30, 2011 5:17 am

should a woman offer to pay?

Post by tony-w56200900203 »

while I was reading this article, I was completely focused on sentences because that's the one I am always thinking about.
There is a man who worried about expenditure for dates but too much and dating women didn't pay not yet.
There are lot of woman who think that man should pay everything or amount of money for date to meet me or invest quite a lot of money to satisfied me.
I really do not agree with that woman's opinion because date is something that two of us both can enjoy.
That is not one-side effort or something, but doing something 'together'
I am dating one or two times a week but I pay much more than him these two weeks.
That's the reason I ponder and actually, I haven't found any special or good answer..
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